Tag Archives: Bermuda Triangle

No Thanks Donald Trump, Keep Your Snake Oil

Over the years I’ve worked with a hell of a lot of sales people.

I don’t want one of your f*****g steaks, either













Some good, some psychotic, which of course you could say for any “profession”,
but a psychotic salesperson is something to behold, and not in a good way.

Sales people are a certain breed.

President-elect Donald Trump… I can’t believe I just wrote that… this is a very f****d up Twilight Zone / Black Mirror episode… but I digress. Donald J. Trump is a sales person. The ultimate.
Reported guestimates of his bank balance range between $150, $3 billion or $10 billion, give or take.

With Trump, it’s all about closing the deal, he wrote THAT book which thankfully I have avoided. Trump closed the deal early Wednesday morning – the keys to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC.

So where to now? During the campaign Trump made a litany of very well documented promises to his faithful (we all saw them as outrageous threats), but will he follow through? Or in true snake oil salesman mode, was all that ranting simply BS, means to an end of winning the Presidency?
Who knows? With Trump, you get the impression that he is constantly making it up as he goes along, to borrow that line from Monty Python. We’re all in very murky unchartered waters,
heading straight for the Bermuda Triangle.

No doubt many of his hard core supporters would have been simultaneously disappointed and disillusioned with his victory speech. It was extremely un-Trumplike, none of the vitriol, no locking up of “Crooked Hillary”, no wall-building threats, no pussies were grabbed, nobody was threatened with deportation. I laughed when it was reported as “being Presidential”, I put it down to the fact he’s an old man and it was waaaay past his bedtime.

Is Trump serious about making America great again? What does that very shallow four-word slogan even mean? Define “great”. Trump was following the old adage of tell ‘em what they want to hear and closed the deal.

Let’s pick one of his campaign “policies”. Did he / does he have any intention of building that wall? Again, who knows how any of this will play out. He’ll no doubt wheel out that hoary old chestnut (which is itself a hoary old chestnut),“Well you know I wanted to <insert bizarre promise> I really did. I promised you I would. But I was blocked. They’re weak. Cowards… etc etc”. The faithful will chug down some more Kool-Aid.

Trump’s meeting with President Obama in the White House on Thursday was surreal to say the least. Trump used the words “great respect” which is laughable, considering the whole birther thing, and the blowtorch he continually took to Obama during the election campaign. But did he really mean any of that? Neither of them looked like they wanted to be there. The body language experts had a field day.

So I suppose it is a matter of watching this space, to see what President steak salesman and beauty pageant owner does. I find it highly amusing / terrifying that his campaign team barred him from Twitter during the final days of the campaign, and now he has the nuclear codes. You seriously couldn’t make this stuff up.

Millions across the planet are proclaiming that the Trump presidency will be the end of the world… and to quote the classic R.E.M. song, Trump will respond with “and I feel fine.”

©Steve Williams 2016

*This piece also appeared in The Huffington Post Australia:
No Thanks, Donald Trump, Keep Your Snake Oil

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Bermuda Triangle — Disappearing Act?

So it just went away did it? Remember The Bermuda Triangle? That spooky vortex of naughtiness between Florida, Bermuda and Puerto Rico that sucked up planes and ships like a Dyson vacuum cleaner on Honey Boo Boo Child’s go-go juice?

The Devil’s Triangle about to call Kris Jenner

You just don’t hear about it any more — the Bermuda Triangle, not Honey Boo Boo unfortunately. Though some would wish she and her eloquent kinfolk would also disappear.

The Bermuda Triangle was also known as “The Devil’s Triangle” which some more über-rabid religions would probably use to describe bikini bottoms, but I digress.

I find it rather interesting that unsuspecting seafarers and aviators don’t seem to be disappearing anymore, which always reminded me of an infamous Derek and Clive sketch involving Joan Crawford, but I’m not going there girl and / or boyfriend.

The same could be said for the Loch Ness Monster. Has he retired? Hung up his humps? There hasn’t been a blurry, grainy, shaky, long distance sighting for years. This is surprising, considering how every human being is armed with a smart phone capable of documenting his (or her) “existence” and that of of its colleagues the Yeti / Big Foot / Sasquatch / Abominable Snowman and the random “GIANT HAMSTERS STEAL BOY!!!!” that the screaming tabloids regurgitate every month or so.

Maybe Nessie is shuffling along the sands of the Florida coast with his Zimmer frame in his LOUD shorts, gazing out towards the Bermuda Triangle, thinking they would have made an awesome kombination. They just need some help. Time to call Kim Kardashian’s mum Kris Jenner…

©Steve Williams 2012

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