FFS World, It’s Zoolander, Lighten Up

Sadly, I have suspected for quite a few years that the world has entirely lost its sense of humour, and it was confirmed this week.

An apparent non-non-binary Benedict Cumberbatch

I was reading one of the furious flood of online news articles screaming in outrage about a scene in the new Zoolander 2 movie.

No, correct that, a scene in the trailer of the new Zoolander 2 movie. So people are taking umbrage at a movie that hasn’t even been released yet.

FFS world, lighten up.

Apparently some (and our emphasise some) of our LGBT friends and outraged kindred spirits supposedly acting on their behalf are frothing at the mouth that the new film is sexist and transphobic. Really? The pitchforks and flaming torches are being aimed at a ten second scene involving Benedict Cumberbatch playing an apparent androgynous-looking model being asked if he has a hot dog or a bun.

That’s it. You’re losing your mind and clambering to the moral high ground over that? Seriously?

In another article, some earnest and no doubt well-meaning type was rabbiting on that a non-binary model should have been cast to play the Cumberbatch role. I have no idea what “non-binary” means. Is it algebra? (I was probably in the sick bay feigning death when they taught that bit at school)

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It’s been a fairly shit year. The heartbreaking plight of refugees fleeing the Middle East and Africa resulting in dead children washing up on beaches, commercial planes being blown out of the sky, ISIS goons throwing people off buildings because of their sexual preference, a Sydney police accountant being shot in the back of the head by a fifteen year old as he left work, not to mention the recent events in Paris that killed 130 people whose only crime was going out on a Friday night.

We could do with a laugh. If Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Benedict Cumberbatch can provide a few in a light comedy, offending a few easily-offended in the process, then so be it.

As a kid, I was brought up on a healthy diet of comedy — English imports like Monty Python, Dave Allen, The Goon Show, Fawlty Towers, Derek and Clive, and brilliant Australian productions including The Naked Vicar Show, Paul Hogan, Blankety Blanks, The D-Generation, Doug Mulray, Andrew Denton etc, etc. Yes a lot of it was crass, immature, challenging, totally politically incorrect and simultaneously f*cking hilarious. Maybe they have all affected my moral compass Bermuda Triangle style, but I doubt it.

What happened? When did we lose our sense of humour? When was a jihad waged on satire and comedy?

Today people want to be outraged. They want to be angry and vent on Twitter and Facebook and violently hammer the keyboard creating cranky online petitions.

All of this is totally fine. You just need to make sure you’re angry and outraged over the important stuff, not a ten second bit in a movie trailer.

©Steve Williams 2015

Diving With The Stars – the new depths of TV

Celebrity Splash! No, I’m not joking. Apparently this is the name of a new TV show screening next year on a network that is obviously totally bereft of ideas.

Who wants to be on Diving with the Stars?

You really couldn’t make this stuff up — the program I believe is a kind of Diving with the Stars. Imagine the meeting in some aesthetically pleasing, yet functional boardroom in a random European country (where I assume the concept was spawned), “Ok, Nikolaas, so your program concept is to get G-grade TV and “music” “celebrities” desperate for any airtime — no matter how degrading — to agree to jump off a high diving tower while we film them, secretly hoping they’ll flash some nipple / suffer a non-life threatening but amusing injury?” “Ja!”

Why do a lot of these bizarre TV shows emerge from Scandinavian-ish countries? Is it the cold? My personal favourite is Champion Chaalbaaz No.1 — but I digress. This is just the latest in a diarrhea stream of “…with the Stars”  and “Dancing…” style shows and you have to wonder when, where and how it will end. Has Dancing with Myself – the Billy Idol themed reality show been done yet?

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I just hope a TV programming executive isn’t reading this.

©Steve Williams 2012

 

Bermuda Triangle — Disappearing Act?

So it just went away did it? Remember The Bermuda Triangle? That spooky vortex of naughtiness between Florida, Bermuda and Puerto Rico that sucked up planes and ships like a Dyson vacuum cleaner on Honey Boo Boo Child’s go-go juice?

The Devil’s Triangle about to call Kris Jenner

You just don’t hear about it any more — the Bermuda Triangle, not Honey Boo Boo unfortunately. Though some would wish she and her eloquent kinfolk would also disappear.

The Bermuda Triangle was also known as “The Devil’s Triangle” which some more über-rabid religions would probably use to describe bikini bottoms, but I digress.

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The same could be said for the Loch Ness Monster. Has he retired? Hung up his humps? There hasn’t been a blurry, grainy, shaky, long distance sighting for years. This is surprising, considering how every human being is armed with a smart phone capable of documenting his (or her) “existence” and that of of its colleagues the Yeti / Big Foot / Sasquatch / Abominable Snowman and the random “GIANT HAMSTERS STEAL BOY!!!!” that the screaming tabloids regurgitate every month or so.

Maybe Nessie is shuffling along the sands of the Florida coast with his Zimmer frame in his LOUD shorts, gazing out towards the Bermuda Triangle, thinking they would have made an awesome kombination. They just need some help. Time to call Kim Kardashian’s mum Kris Jenner…

©Steve Williams 2012