Barry O’Farrell – when good manners attack

So. Australian political leader — NSW Premier Barry O’Farrell has resigned in what has become known as #GrangeGate.

The resignation was not over the gift of a $3,000 bottle of 1959 Penfolds Grange Hermitage, no, what brought Barry unstuck were his good manners.

Hi Ho Silver! Away…

On Tuesday, the then Premier fronted the Independent Commission Against Corruption, denying under oath he had received the bottle of wine in question.

His downfall was his handwritten thank you note, which miraculously arose today (well it is nearly Easter).

Bad blue Barry. You shouldn’t have listened to the enclave of etiquette experts that tsk “obviously every gift requires a thank-you note.”

The heady topic has been covered by Oprah, and Jimmy Fallon writes out his thank you notes each week. Thankfully he is taking the proverbial.
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Barry even religiously followed the suggested format for his thank you note — addressing the giver, expressing gratitude, and how much the gesture means to him.

All very proper — now he’s out of a job. For a simple scrawl about a bottle of red that was allegedly on the nose.

This all happened the very day The Duke, Duchess and Prince of Cambridge (Kate’n’Will’n’George to us Aussies) arrived in Sydney for the start of their Australian wave-a-thon.

Barry was supposed to host Mr & Mrs C. at a galah Sydney Opera House knees-up, though was an obvious no-show. Bugger.

I hope Mrs O’Farrell kept the receipt for the frock she was going to wear.

©Steve Williams 2014

How many Hollywood stars can a koala bear?

A speech from today’s (very) heated meeting of the Token Australian Animals Association.

A striking koala

“Dear Comrades,

I have called this emergency meeting as a result of today’s Katy Perry patting. Enough is enough! We must rise up against our blatant exploitation by affectionate actors and massaging musicians.

It is time we scratch a line in the tree and say a resounding NO!! to being manhandled for a clichéd photo opportunity while a visiting celebrity smiles into the camera and says “Geeday mate, I love Australia” minutes after arriving from the airport.

It was bad enough when they invaded our territory in zoos and wildlife parks with a fawning media pack, now we are expected to be shunted around hotels, TV studios and entertainment centres like some real life cuddly toy. “OMG, so cuuuute! Can I take it home?” NO!!!

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Our trial Pissing-On Program failed, so we are on strike as of now!

As your president Kev Koala — that’s my stage name — I call on my marsupial and monotreme mates, snake sisters and Blue-tongue lizard brothers to follow our cause with your claws.

Today, I have been in contact with the Australian Funnel Web Spiders, Box Jellyfish and Other Really Deadly Aussie Animals Union, who strongly sympathise with us. Our courageous comrades will allow their members to be used for public appearances. These will the only Australian animals permitted for such wanton exploitation.

In closing, we will no longer be seen as a furry jingoistic souvenir that merely eats, roots and leaves. I ask you, “how much can a koala bear?”

©Steve Williams 2014