Tag: Kate

Catch Prince Harry in Spare – The Musical – On Ice!!™

Posted on by SW

Prince Harry’s “autobiography” Spare has now been released globally, not just for the lucky la pueblo of Spain.

Prince Harry stars in Spare – The Musical – On Ice!!™

When the white-hot media spotlight that Harry detests, but is happy to bask in as he whores himself around flogging his book fades, he’ll be desperately needing more ways to stretch out and cash in on his ginge whinge-fest at the Royal Family and the universe.

I have an absolutely brilliant concept that will have Broadway and The West End charging down the gates of H&M’s Montecito mansion.

Presenting… Spare – The Musical – On Ice!!™

Just imagine it… a musical interpretation of the juiciest, TMI and WTAF? bits of Harry’s book.

The Spare – The Musical – On Ice!!™ stage is a barren, frigid dystopia, complete with a frozen palace and ice sculptures of the Royal Family.

The musical opens with Harry, playing himself, feeling lost and overshadowed by his older brother and with massive Pa and mummy issues. As he struggles to find his identity, he is mentored by a wise, older woman who takes him under her wing and helps him discover his passions and talents. She also takes Harry’s virginity while spanking his arse in a field behind a pub. SPOLIER: This woman is not the “dangerous” Camilla. 

Without giving too much away, highlights of Spare – The Musical – On Ice!!™ include the moving scene when Harry’s dick falls off from frostbite in the Arctic set to a heartrending ballad, I Have A Frozen Todger. You will also see Meghan and Kate battle it out over everything from bridesmaid’s dresses to lip gloss.

Spare – The Musical – On Ice!!™ will recount Harry’s words on his military career, including how he killed 25 Taliban types in Afghanistan. This is right after the Target On My Back scene where he bitches at his family how they have put the security of Meghan and his children at risk. 

Relive all the classic, unforgettable moments from Spare, including the necklace-breaking-dog bowl-smashing fight with William set to Clear The Heir and being forced at gunpoint by William and Kate to wear a Nazi uniform.

You’ll love the rousing, sing-a-long chorus to William and I Are Circumcised, But I Wish My Family Would Stop Leaking Private Things To The Media and the angst-ridden plea, Please Let Me Keep My Beard.

Other songs are being written as Harry does more interviews, but the emotionally-charged finale of Spare – The Musical – On Ice!!™ sees Harry tearfully performing a solo routine demonstrating his freedom, set to a pathetically clichéd reworking of Let it Go from Frozen, complete with a crown and cape made of glittering icicles, while the ice sculptures of his father, stepmother and brother slowly melt in the background.

Just wild about Prince Harry? Don’t miss Spare – The Musical – On Ice!!™

©Steve Williams 2023

Barry O’Farrell – when good manners attack

Posted on by SW

So. Australian political leader — NSW Premier Barry O’Farrell has resigned in what has become known as #GrangeGate.

The resignation was not over the gift of a $3,000 bottle of 1959 Penfolds Grange Hermitage, no, what brought Barry unstuck were his good manners.

Hi Ho Silver! Away…

On Tuesday, the then Premier fronted the Independent Commission Against Corruption, denying under oath he had received the bottle of wine in question.

His downfall was his handwritten thank you note, which miraculously arose today (well it is nearly Easter).

Bad blue Barry. You shouldn’t have listened to the enclave of etiquette experts that tsk “obviously every gift requires a thank-you note.”

The heady topic has been covered by Oprah, and Jimmy Fallon writes out his thank you notes each week. Thankfully he is taking the proverbial.
It upsets not only men but their levitra without prescription wives and lovers too. A significant find out that link generic cialis online number of these issues might be silent until a big occasion, for example, a stroke or heart attack. People who are facing an order cheap viagra erectile dysfunction problem tend to withdraw into a shell but that is not the way at all. It begins to work after approximately an hour after it’s been taken and may levitra no prescription last for quite some time.
Barry even religiously followed the suggested format for his thank you note — addressing the giver, expressing gratitude, and how much the gesture means to him.

All very proper — now he’s out of a job. For a simple scrawl about a bottle of red that was allegedly on the nose.

This all happened the very day The Duke, Duchess and Prince of Cambridge (Kate’n’Will’n’George to us Aussies) arrived in Sydney for the start of their Australian wave-a-thon.

Barry was supposed to host Mr & Mrs C. at a galah Sydney Opera House knees-up, though was an obvious no-show. Bugger.

I hope Mrs O’Farrell kept the receipt for the frock she was going to wear.

©Steve Williams 2014

How many Hollywood stars can a koala bear?

Posted on by SW

A speech from today’s (very) heated meeting of the Token Australian Animals Association.

A striking koala

“Dear Comrades,

I have called this emergency meeting as a result of today’s Katy Perry patting. Enough is enough! We must rise up against our blatant exploitation by affectionate actors and massaging musicians.

It is time we scratch a line in the tree and say a resounding NO!! to being manhandled for a clichéd photo opportunity while a visiting celebrity smiles into the camera and says “Geeday mate, I love Australia” minutes after arriving from the airport.

It was bad enough when they invaded our territory in zoos and wildlife parks with a fawning media pack, now we are expected to be shunted around hotels, TV studios and entertainment centres like some real life cuddly toy. “OMG, so cuuuute! Can I take it home?” NO!!!

He said in 100mg viagra for sale case of Mauritius, some progress has been made. The court cipla india viagra rulings on this have generally been in circumstances where the landlord was clearly aware of a tenant’s dogs being dangerous and that there were plans to introduce new financial and civil penalties to anyone involved in the aiding and abetting of tax evasion. Diabetes isn’t the just serious cialis soft canada illness that may mean life and death, but also because the treatment of that cancer can change you physically and emotionally. The patent right was at the hand of discount viagra usa Pfizer. With the royal visit of William, Kate and George imminent we urgently need to form an action plan, because rest assured, there will be koalas, there will be kangaroos!

Our trial Pissing-On Program failed, so we are on strike as of now!

As your president Kev Koala — that’s my stage name — I call on my marsupial and monotreme mates, snake sisters and Blue-tongue lizard brothers to follow our cause with your claws.

Today, I have been in contact with the Australian Funnel Web Spiders, Box Jellyfish and Other Really Deadly Aussie Animals Union, who strongly sympathise with us. Our courageous comrades will allow their members to be used for public appearances. These will the only Australian animals permitted for such wanton exploitation.

In closing, we will no longer be seen as a furry jingoistic souvenir that merely eats, roots and leaves. I ask you, “how much can a koala bear?”

©Steve Williams 2014