Goodbye Mr Crisps

So the other day I bought a packet of chips (or crisps depending on what
hemisphere you are in). Earth-shattering news indeed, but I was quite perturbed — nay, outraged – that it was only, at best, three quarters full.

Definitely not this many spuds in my pathetic excuse for a packet

This evil act of bastardry isn’t confined to chips / crisps — extensive research (a very cursory glance around the stupid market) revealed many items — primarily in the sugar confectionary aisle, guilty as charged. Why are we paying for air? I would understand that concept if one was to sashay into one of those placebonic Oxygen Bars — which I think were so 2008 — but from memory, pathetically-not-even-attempting-to-be-full packets of sliced fried potatoes weren’t part of their raison d’être (apologies — I’ve always wanted to use that in a sentence — and also oeuvre*).

These benefits are enough to make ED treatment with these soft versions. buy cialis https://pdxcommercial.com/property/517-main-street-oregon-city-oregon-97045/ The color of Kamagra pill is different that that of the viagra 20mg in india because it is the rule of nature and change always comes for good. In the diagnosis of prostatitis, B ultrasonic examination B ultrasonic examination is a kind generic viagra cheap of routine examination in the diagnosis many kinds of male diseases. So, buy levitra wholesale drink pomegranate juice regularly to get rid of ED. I know things in general seem to shrink as age advances — words, numbers, pant, tolerance, unmentionables — but I believe this chip conspiracy is an affront to society.

I also believe a class action lawsuit should be lodged immediately, preferably by one of those law firms that advertises on TV at 3.12am, between infomercials for a plethora of “fitness” products including the not dubious at all Shake Weight, the hilarious and no doubt extremely effective Hawaii Chair and other destined-to-be-landfill products, that swear blindly couch potatoes can morph into Hugh Jackman by sitting on their fat arses stuffing their corpulent faces full of said chips / crisps. You in?

*This is how you pronounce “oeuvre”.

©Steve Williams 2012