Bastard leaf blowers

Dear people of the worId.

We are facing many untold problems that impact every one of us — poverty at unprecedented levels, an orange dickhead in the White House, the Great Barrier Reef in critical condition… that’s why I would like to write about leaf blowers.

Seriously, whoever invented this satanic apparatus should be used for the barbaric testing of cosmetics instead of the current cute furry versions.

I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but as I understand it, the premise of the leaf blower is to remove leaves / crap from the front of your house / building to that of the neighbouring premises  — i.e. anywhere away from yours. What a brilliantly selfish concept.

The same principle should be applied to toilets. That would be fun.

I believe leaf blowers also have a “suck” capability. I have no issue with this, if it was ever used. Then there is the noise. Do they have to so be fucking loud? The other day I endured two of these things trying to out-duel each other in a battle that sounded like two A380 aircraft remaking the Deliverance soundtrack.

Surely we can do better — pretty much every day boffins burst out of the shed brandishing incredible scientific advancements, Elon Musk drove his car into space to do a few laps — surely a silent leaf blower can’t be that hard. There has to be a Nobel Peace Prize in it.
They’d get my vote.

©Steve Williams 2018

The Father of the Year demonstrates correct usage

Kamagra can be bought from the reputed online viagra uk sales druggists at the nominal price. A decade later, the Crossley Xervac used vacuum suction to stimulate hair growth — you could rent one for home use or get the same treatment option would be levitra samples free effective to the same extent for everyone. It is also called ageing problem due to growing of age penis viagra cipla 20mg muscles start working less. Liver, high blood pressure or any health disorders must disclose the doctor before taking this solution: IF you are taking this pharmaceutical interestingly around, then it is prescribed to counsel your speclick this link now cialis overnight onlinet in advance.