WTF | random swill

Yes. I do know that a “phablet” is a frankensteined hybrid of a phone and a tablet, but I am assuming whoever came up with that name had obviously taken a handful of them.

A stupid word, and they are everywhere — I was reading about a “wriblet” today — with the advent of wearable technology, a wrist-bound tablet will become a thing — Dick Tracy style.
That name definitely puts the dick in it.

It is not just new technology that was on the receiving end of clunky nomenclature, take shoelaces — that metal bit on the end is called an “aglet”. You’re welcome.
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An affliction. Stupid words are like a rather nasty rash — they are spreading and are extremely painful — one can only hope they’ll scab over and drop off. Here a few off the top of my head: “cronut”, “crowdsourced”, “bromance”, “thought leader” and anything with the prefix “man” i.e. “manscaping”, “mancave”, “manorexia” and “manflu”. Stupid.

Social media has a hell of a lot to answer for. I’m an avid 140 character writer on Twitter (@randomswill), but can’t bring myself to use the word “tweet”. I may have inadvertently used “twitterverse”, but never again. I can guarantee I have never travelled to the dark edges of the “twittersphere”.

“Selfie” is also a very stupid word — I always assumed it had something to do with masturbation, which in a sense it is. Sadly, you can’t escape the scourge of the selfie, it was even a political tool much loved by a not so much-loved former Australian prime minister — see previous sentence.

©Steve Williams 2014

Dear people of the world. A doctorate on the psychology of people who purchase “celebrity perfumes” would be quite fascinating reading. I’m not that much of a deep-thinker so I’ll merely postulate — WTF?

I don’t get it. Do these fragrant-followers really want to smell like *insert celebrity name*?

Everything you need to purchase a celebrity perfume

I can honestly say I have never had the slightest desire to smell like Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, Bruce Willis, Peter Andre (c’mon, you remember Mysterious Girl – no?) or Elizabeth Taylor — especially not in her current state.

The other even more weird option, is that people feel a connection, or worse, want to be that person. That conjures up rather unsavoury images of Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb in The Silence of the Lambs who had something of a penchant for ladies’ coats — as it were.

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the creatively titled “Tabe” back in 1963. Since then, the floodgates have opened with athletes, singers, TV and film stars — and Peter Andre — all putting their name, sorry, being “heavily involved in every aspect of the design and production.”

Always one to outdo virtually everything and everyone, Lady Gaga’s “Fame” fragrance was reported to have notes of “blood and semen” in the media frenzy leading up to the launch.
No, I’m good, thanks Gaga. The end product was thankfully bodily fluid free, as usual the media were snapping up the morsels of bait she cleverly lobs their way.

Speaking of bait, I wonder if Beyoncé fans have turned up to one of her concerts having liberally doused themselves in “Heat” or “Pulse” so she’d notice them.

You’d like to think not, but then again…

Tag: WTF

“Smells like…?” The Rash of Celebrity Perfumes

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