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Category: #FFS
No Thanks Donald Trump, Keep Your Snake Oil
Over the years I’ve worked with a hell of a lot of sales people.
I don’t want one of your f*****g steaks, either
Some good, some psychotic, which of course you could say for any “profession”, but a psychotic salesperson is something to behold, and not in a good way.
Sales people are a certain breed.
President-elect Donald Trump… I can’t believe I just wrote that… this is a very f****d up Twilight Zone / Black Mirror episode… but I digress. Donald J. Trump is a sales person. The ultimate.
Reported guestimates of his bank balance range between $150, $3 billion or $10 billion, give or take.
With Trump, it’s all about closing the deal, he wrote THAT book which thankfully I have avoided. Trump closed the deal early Wednesday morning – the keys to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC.
So where to now? During the campaign Trump made a litany of very well documented promises to his faithful (we all saw them as outrageous threats), but will he follow through? Or in true snake oil salesman mode, was all that ranting simply BS, means to an end of winning the Presidency?
Who knows? With Trump, you get the impression that he is constantly making it up as he goes along, to borrow that line from Monty Python. We’re all in very murky unchartered waters,
heading straight for the Bermuda Triangle.
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No doubt many of his hard core supporters would have been simultaneously disappointed and disillusioned with his victory speech. It was extremely un-Trumplike, none of the vitriol, no locking up of “Crooked Hillary”, no wall-building threats, no pussies were grabbed, nobody was threatened with deportation. I laughed when it was reported as “being Presidential”, I put it down to the fact he’s an old man and it was waaaay past his bedtime.
Is Trump serious about making America great again? What does that very shallow four-word slogan even mean? Define “great”. Trump was following the old adage of tell ‘em what they want to hear and closed the deal.
Let’s pick one of his campaign “policies”. Did he / does he have any intention of building that wall? Again, who knows how any of this will play out. He’ll no doubt wheel out that hoary old chestnut (which is itself a hoary old chestnut),“Well you know I wanted to <insert bizarre promise> I really did. I promised you I would. But I was blocked. They’re weak. Cowards… etc etc”. The faithful will chug down some more Kool-Aid.
Trump’s meeting with President Obama in the White House on Thursday was surreal to say the least. Trump used the words “great respect” which is laughable, considering the whole birther thing, and the blowtorch he continually took to Obama during the election campaign. But did he really mean any of that? Neither of them looked like they wanted to be there. The body language experts had a field day.
So I suppose it is a matter of watching this space, to see what President steak salesman and beauty pageant owner does. I find it highly amusing / terrifying that his campaign team barred him from Twitter during the final days of the campaign, and now he has the nuclear codes. You seriously couldn’t make this stuff up.
Millions across the planet are proclaiming that the Trump presidency will be the end of the world… and to quote the classic R.E.M. song, Trump will respond with “and I feel fine.”
©Steve Williams 2016
*This piece also appeared in The Huffington Post Australia:
No Thanks, Donald Trump, Keep Your Snake Oil
If you’re happy and you know it FFS don’t clap
What the f*ck is going on?
A Sydney school has banned clapping. No I did not make that up. Banning semi-automatic weapons, knuckledusters and even access to Kim Kardashian’s Snapchat I can understand,
but clapping?
In a newsletter sent home / emailed to parents, the good burghers of Elanora Heights Public School advised that clapping has been banned at assemblies “to respect members of our school community who are sensitive to noise.” Hate to break it to you people, but having spent quite a bit of time in school playgrounds in my much younger years, they are somewhat noisy places. Whoever clapped at assemblies anyway?
As an an alternative for the acoustically-affected, the school suggests students “pull excited faces, and wriggle about on the spot” as part of their “silent cheers”. Yes, really.
I think there is something in this, the board of the Sydney Opera House should implement this concept immediately. Picture yourself at the conclusion of a wonderful performance of La Bohème. Instead of the usual thunderous ovation, the audience wriggle about and pull excited faces.
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That reminds me of the John Lennon line as the Beatles played at a Royal Command Performance, “The people in the cheaper seats, clap your hands… and the rest of you, if you’d just rattle your jewellery.” Today, somebody with a jewellery phobia would complain.
The Olympic Games in Rio could take this wriggling about etc onboard as well. It might take people’s minds off the Zika virus.
This is not the first time that clapping has been kiboshed. Attendees at a UK student feminist conference last year were asked to stop clapping “but do feminist jazz hands” as “clapping triggers anxiety”. I suppose it does if you don’t receive any. I have no idea how “feminist jazz hands” differ from the garden-variety type.
It is all just so ridiculous. These are more examples of victories for the no-fun, no-offence, no-winners, cotton-wool-encasing, high-vis-wearing nanny-state-nannas.
I do however agree that some sounds should be banned… bastard leaf blowers, recorders, not to mention the music of Kanye West.
©Steve Williams 2016
Yulin Dog Meat “Festival”, Brexit, Trump… #FFS
“I turned another year older recently, and in light of recent global events I have been thinking of the poignant Queen song “Is This the World We Created?” A fair question.
In no particular order, these are just a few of the random things seriously disturbing me.
The “Yulin Dog Meat Festival” in China. For once, words almost fail me with this one. The name is sickeningly self-explanatory, however the word “festival” is a total misnomer. An annual event, the mind-fucking barbarity these poor animals are subjected to before the inevitable is forged from the utter bowels of depravity. It takes a hell of a lot to shock me, but the images I have encountered researching this cannot be unseen. These bastards need to be stopped. Ricky Gervais has been a champion in attacking the Yulin Dog Meat Festival, using a five letter word ending in “s” to describe the perpetrators. I couldn’t agree more.
Donald Trump.
The sick bastard in Western Australia who was jailed for a pathetic twenty-two years for raping his daughter over two years starting when she was only 11. If that doesn’t make your skin crawl, he also pimped her out to six other men. There was video and bondage gear involved. How do you even begin to fathom this? As a father, you can’t even start. He told police, “I’m going to be honest, it was fun while it lasted but it went way over the line.” A bullet to the brain would be too good for this monster. Twenty-two years is nothing compared to the life sentence the girl will have to endure. I hope she is getting all the love and support she needs. I hope the father only lasts an extremely painful 3.7 seconds in prison.
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That nut job in Orlando — again a wannabe zealot hijacking religion and using his twisted fucked up beliefs to justify his slaughter. The blood-soaked scene of carnage du jour was a gay nightclub, however as we have tragically seen over the years, the killing grounds have included schools, shopping centres, cinemas, concert venues, even a chocolate branded cafe in Sydney. A flow on subset of problems here. Bleedingly (literally) obvious question… How can anyone walk into a gun shop and buy a military style weapon with no questions asked? Why does anyone NEED to walk into a gun shop and buy a military style weapon? It doesn’t make sense. Those mad fuckers at the NRA bang on about the Second Amendment, but that was ratified in 1791. Back then, massacre-inducing automatic weapons would have been some gunsmith’s wet dream.
Donald Trump.
Brexit. So much anger so little time. The ignorant racism, the xenophobia. The shame-faced lies of politicians and lobbyists. Mostly, the morons who, hours after voting to leave it were Googling “what is the EU?” Google reported that the search “what happens if we leave the EU?” tripled AFTER the vote. This woman needs to get in the sea…”Even though I voted to leave, this morning I woke up and I just — the reality did actually hit me, If I’d had the opportunity to vote again, it would be to stay.” Face palm. The right to vote is one of the greatest things we have, and these people are just pissing it up against a wall. Be careful what you wish for…
<rant ends>
©Steve Williams 2016