Review: Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania – pass the Marvel Baygon

I’m not a comic book person, but I like Marvel films. I’ve seen them all. Some are great, most enjoyable, but Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (Antman 3 for brevity)? Not so much. I feel like I’d seen it all before. 

The search for skanky Blu-Tack and a plot continues

With the phases, multiverses, timelines, character arcs, variants etc etc, it’s really getting to the point you need a Masters of Engineering to follow exactly WTAF is going on in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. If only it was still just the one.

I really like Paul Rudd, I thoroughly enjoy his work. Nobody brandishes a bottle of Sex Panther cologne and lip syncs Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” quite like him. The first Ant-Man worked as it was a fish out of water story… an everyman thrown into an incredible situation… and nobody does everyman like Paul Rudd. It was also very different to every other Marvel film up until then. It carved its own niche. The second Ant-Man film was a bit silly… with added Wasp, now this third one is just bogged in the MCU bloated blancmange. 

Ant-Man 3 seemed like it was MacGyvered together with some old ratty coloured cellophane and a bit of skanky Blu-Tack found in the bottom of a drawer. It was as though something horrible had happened to Paul Rudd just after shooting started and they had to bodgy up the rest of it with random bits of stuff. Including that Michelle Pfeiffer’s character Janet didn’t previously let on there’s actually a teeny-tiny Wakanda-style city thing in the quantum realm. Bizarre.                            

The cast including Rudd, Pfeiffer, Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly, Kathryn Newton (let’s not talk about Bill Murray) and new baddie Jonathan Majors as the work-experience Thanos who has leaving                             major pauses                           between                                 his lines down to an                       art form all did their best… participation medals all round… but it was just missing something.  

As they all were fumbling around down in the quantum realm searching for that thing, finding it, losing it and finding it again, they should have been looking for a cohesive plot and what made Ant-Man 1 work.

The fact that the majority of the action takes place in CGI Land made it all rather same-old same-old. Imagine if the entire 1971 Willy Wonka film was set in the Chocolate Room. At least that had a chocolate river and the annoying fat kid getting his comeuppance (literally). I’m ignoring the current BS wokeification of Roald Dahl.

I mentioned earlier I felt I’d seen it all before? It was kind of like Taika Waititi passed on directing Ant-Man 3, but they “borrowed”/paid homage to various scenes from Thor: Ragnarok without the coolness and humour that actually worked.

Just like most Marvel films, you know exactly what’s going to happen, the plots aren’t exactly complex, which is fine, they are superhero films after all, but at least you can usually relate to the characters on their quest. This one? Didn’t really care. They could all still be stuck down there aimlessly meandering around searching for that thing and a plot, while I was having a nice cup of tea at home.

An example… that stupid M.O.D.O.K. head thing played by the bloke from House of Cards with T-Rex baby arms, banging on about not being a dick? It was all rather dick-like.

Sorry Paul. Maybe I’m just Marveled-out. Hopefully it’ll get good again in phase 37.

©Steve Williams 2023