Melbourne protests – the neighs have it

The ongoing construction worker protests in Melbourne are one of those ever-increasing moments when the lines between satire and reality are blurred.

“WHADDAWEWANT?! Um… dunno… smoko… ivermectin… somethin’ somethin’…” *sets armpit on fire*

For those who came in late, construction workers have been protesting / rioting throughout Melbourne’s CBD against having to prove they are vaccinated against COVID-19 before being allowed to work on building sites. 

Yes, protesting against something that is in their own and their industry’s benefit.

There was also something about not having access to “tea rooms”. The idea of big boofy blokes in de rigueur high-vis vests, quietly sipping on a lovely Earl Grey out of Wedgwood fine bone china in a quaint tea room awash with Laura Ashley décor and doilies is rather amusing.

“BUT WHERE WE GUNNA HAVE FUCKIN SMOKO?”, some bloke screamed as he kicked a police car… I thought the word “smoko” had died a justifiable death in 1953.

What isn’t amusing is the violence…  especially yesterday and today.

Protesters, whipped up by far-right nutjobs have been running rampant in city streets, shutting down the city, vandalising their own union office, kicking a dog and assaulting police and media including throwing urine at them. 

Speaking of taking the piss, there was a “list of demands” which I seriously thought was satirical, but apparently isn’t. Among an amusingly bizarre shopping list of demands including ending lockdowns, ending mask and vaccine mandates… blah blah blah… is the resignation of the Premier Daniel Andrews and mass distribution of Ivermectin. No chance fellas… the neighs have it.

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I was surprised the demands didn’t include compulsory 7 litre bottles of Coke and mandatory display of builder’s crack.

Below are said protestor’s demands. Yes, seriously.

Premier Daniel Andrews to resign? Mass distribution of Ivermectin? No chance fellas… the neighs have it.

Here’s a new set of demands via @TheShovel… they actually make more sense…

While we’re talking horses, the protests took an absolutely farcical turn today when the testy tradies stormed the West Gate Bridge and triumphantly started singing the classic protest song “The Horses” by Daryl Braithwaite. 

The Melbourne protests are yet another milestone for Braithwaite’s powerful call to arms, first sung by the suffragettes in 1914 and at rallies held by Martin Luther King Jr, Nelson Mandela and Vietnam War protests. The rallying chorus makes you want to grab a pitchfork and flaming torch… “That’s the way it’s gonna be, little darlin’ /
You go riding on the horses, yeah.”

Nobody has any (tea and) sympathy for these piss-throwing, dog-kicking morons, considering the good people of Melbourne are clawing their way out of the 102th COVID-19 lockdown and these protests could put them right smack bang back in another one. 

©Steve Williams 2021